Improving your communication skills to develop Personality.

communication skills

I would now like to share with you some practical tips on improving your communication skills. Are you ready? What I have done my level best is to ensure to give you something new. Everything takes time! Even when you plant a seed in the soil, you water it every day; it’s not going to come out when you want it to! It’s going to grow at its on time. Another example, you go to the gym, you want to strengthen your biceps and they are not going to work on your time. It will happen when, it has to happen. You job is to put in the efforts. Take a deep breathe in please and say out loud “My job is to put in the efforts”. There are some tips below to enhance your communication skills:

Immersion: The number one thing you’ve to follow when you want to accelerate your communication skills that is the journey of immersion. Let’s say somebody lagged early exposer. Let’s say a child growing up watching peppa pigs is going to build a better vocabulary, is going to get comfortable with speaking English or whatever it happens to be, You can compensate with immersion, immersion means immerse yourself completely into that material.

Let’s start with a story which exactly defines you what is immersion? It is couple of Socrates famous Greek thinkers once went up to him and asked; can you teach me the principle of success? He was taking the bath in the middle of the river that fine morning. He found the timing of question very awkward. He was right in the middle of the river. Where water was very deep, he thought he will teach his disciple, not by lecturing him but by giving him a practical experience of that thing. He says to this young man; he said young man come inside the river and I will tell you, I will teach you the secret of success. The man goes inside the water and he is standing right next to the Socrates where the water is very deep. Socrates is a little bit taller than this guy. He puts very causally his arm around the shoulder of this young man; and plunges his head inside the water. He can hear him kicking and fighting for his life. He is holding him tight beneath water where he is fighting and resisting. After couple of seconds, he manages to break free and comes out of water and gasping for air.  At that very time he said, “What is this? I asked you the secret of success. What is this about? ”Young man you were inside water, Tell me! How desperately you wanted to come outside the water and breathe again. He said, of course, I was very desperate; it was a matter of life and death. I would do anything to achieve that. Would you? He said, “There you’ve the secret of success.” When you want to achieve something so badly; you will be able to immerse your entire being into that thing. There is no force in the world that can stop your progress on that path.

Immersion which means completely surrounds you with material, people, learning opportunities to learn that new communication skills. What is that new skill; it could be the communication skills, it could be the English language skills. It could be anything that you want to learn. Identify your dominant learning styles. Some people learn better by listening. Some people learn better by watching, some people learn better by experimentation, by doing things. Find out what works for you and use that style. Have a support group which will help you develop that skill. If you want to speak good English, if you want to develop your communication skills, is there a toastmaster’s club in your institution, in your city. Is there any sort of club? Do they have a drama or a theatre club that you can participate? Go on stage and perform so that your stage fear goes down. Is there a debating club? Can you join that sort of? If not in your city then join something online that you can do but have a support group. So identify your dominant learning styles, create a support group and I say fire your mental faculties from all directions which means audio, video, watch you hear, watch you see, watch you read, watch you write. You’re firing on all directions, your brain; you’re stretching it into a new direction. When you are reading, you are doing two things at the same time. Yes or no? First, reading the text and second, you are creating a visual in your mind. You are reading and you are creating sense of that material.  You are reading news, such thing happen in this place and know. You do both absorbing it in alphabets and taking in the words but also your mind is trying to create a sense art of it. When you are watching something, half the work is already done for you. You don’t have to read text, you just have to listen or watch and then you have to make sense of it. Reading is more hard work and a lot of people avoid it, in the age of videos; you stop reading. Read more!

You want to put an Instagram post. Do it but don’t just put in stupid hashtags which makes no sense. Write a caption. Write about it in three or four sentences. Start a blog; write about your chef competition experience. What will go wrong; the maximum is you will make grammatical mistakes, few people will laugh at it. That’s Okay! It’s part of the process. You have to go through this Speaking; asking so many live videos which are silent. You have seen some of those? If you are going live on Facebook, say something please, tell us what is happening. Speak up! If it didn’t go as per your expectations delete it later on and that’s fine. That mistake is not going to live there forever but don’t just be silent, silent movies happen in the 1800’s.Then science advance to developing sound and microphones and all that high-tech equipment that we use these days. Use your mental faculties. Create a weekly manual of what material you want to go through. Your Netflix series or what are you watching, audio books; download them in advance. What you want to carry, the material you want to carry with you. Immersion is important to compensate for the lack of early exposure. Do develop your communication skills or foreign language skills. Perhaps! English in this case at an early age. If you missed out on that opportunity for early exposure, you can make up by following immersion. You’ll have to make up for that lost time. If you immerse yourself, you will win that game.

Second is try visual mental rehearsal. A technique which has taught to athletes, golfers, stage performers, stand-up comedians is visual mental rehearsal. Take a deep breath in, close your eyes for a few seconds, visualise yourself on the stage in the auditorium. Visualise the mic in front of you, visualise an audience of 3000 people, visualise yourself speaking flawlessly! If you see that in your mind make image in your mind, 3000 people, can you see yourself speaking? I want to visualise people are laughing not at you but with you, they are clapping. Everybody is having fun together. Fantastic! Take a deep breath in and open your eyes again what we just did was a visual mental rehearsal next time will be more specific.

You have to go in an interview; rehearse in your mind what you going to say in that interview. You have to give a speech; rehearse in your mind what I am going to see. Imagine; mental rehearsal! Be a news anchor. I used to do that when I was a kid. We had very little exposure to new information. We have The Tribune and Doordarshan perhaps CNN at that time. Who is your favourite sort of celebrity that you like for their communication skills. Pretend to be the news anchor. Take a newspaper. You all have access to news paper? Take an English newspaper; take a small piece of news. You are the news anchor now. Pretend there is an imaginary audience in front of you and start of! Can you do that every day? Can my views do that every day? If you do it, you’re going to get the huge results. You are training your mind into that direction. Interviews, presentations, wherever you have to speak in public; use visual mental rehearsal. Which means you create in your mind the ideal scenario that you would like to see rehearse it. You get comfortable with it. Okay? If the mind is ready, the body will follow. You understand the power of this? If the mind is ready, the body will follow. If the mind is ready all the other facilities will follow. If the mind is not ready, you may have prepared the best speech but your best will not come out because you are mind was not trained. Once again deep breathe in. Say hello to the person sitting next to you and remind them. Learn to train your mind. Show the first step is immersion, second step is visual mental rehearsal and the third step is play the game.

What’s the third step? That is playing the game. Let’s say you want to get better at cricket as a batsman. Will watching matches will help you improve your bating? Little bit! Will watching and giving commentary help you improve your game? Maybe little bit more but not huge. Will meeting the players and clicking the selfies the players, will that help? It will give you some motivation but it won’t improve your game. Put on the pads and visualise; will that help? Little bit! Face the ball hundred kilometres per hour coming at you. Will that improve your game? And face it again and again. Learn to play the game. You want to improve any skill; beat your photography skills, your videography skills, your public presentation skills and English language skills. The more you stay in the game, your skill in the game. I think Nicholas Taleb wrote this book: put your scale in the game, the more you will learn. Spectators don’t learn much, players do. When you have the next opportunity in your university or in your class about a presentation, raise your hand. Lot of people try this technique instead; do raise your hand, you can do it, I believe you can do it. Instead learn to do this. Raise your hand! Even if you are not sure, you will find out the way but learn to play the game. Raise your hand, volunteer, participate and then record yourself during that process. Good friend to sit down and say I want you to record me. I want you to video tape me and go back and review it. It’s very important. Go back and review yourself. In the review process of you are mastering of any new skill, foreign language or communication skills.

Be in the game bit more than you should. Take initiative! Talk to at least one stranger every day. Say hello to someone! You might not get all positive results everywhere but that’s ok its worth to try. I want you to do is actually built up your confidence to another level everywhere rejection is not a big deal for you. You become an initiator and the ability to take initiative is going to be one of the key components any successful hospitality executive. I ask you to be not too harsh on yourself because good things take time. Everybody together please deep breath in: good things take time. You want to cook something in the kitchen; you’ve a lot of chefs here. You know if a dish requires 45 minutes of cooking, you can’t prepare it in 5.You cannot prepare it in 10 minutes no matter what sort of modern equipment you might be using. Still the dash is going to take 45 minutes because good things take time and the same way for you to develop a new skill for you to enhance your personality it’s going to take time to be comfortable in that process but keep reviewing. I want you to make mistakes. I want you to learn from your mistakes. I don’t want you to repeat your mistakes and I also don’t want you to be afraid of making mistakes. Imagine a dancer on stage. Afraid he might make the wrong step, is going to be all confused because that’s happening in the natural rhythm here. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Leave correction for the next review process. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes when you are playing and then leave the correction part in the review process.

Very simple 4 step process is immersing yourself in the skill you want to learn. You want to improve your English speaking skills, create a menu of what you want to watch, what you want to read, what you want to speak about, what you are going to write it, what sort of support groups are you going to go to. There are online friends who can assist you, is there any club in the City. Immerse yourself completely into that new material is VMR practice (visual mental rehearsal). In your mind, see the person who you want to be and hold onto that image, believe in that image. Every morning when you wake up: remind yourself, how you see yourself. What do you start here in your mind can come into reality. Mark my words! If you believe in the image that you are able to see here, it will slowly start becoming your reality. Because your reality is going to reflect your dominant thoughts; what you are thinking about yourself! Play! Just like a child is curious to play. He is not there to prove something. I’m not saying win, I am saying step is play. It’s not winning, its play! Take the risk! You are doing the FB live video, say something don’t be silent, speak up, add value and write. Raise your hand, volunteer, take that risk, and then review. If I had to get another chance to do this, will I do it differently next time? This constant desire for improvement.

Martina Navratilova is the famous tennis player. she said it best and she said; the more I realize how much better I can get and it’s addictive, the more I want to improve myself. There is nothing more addictive then improvement. The more you improve yourself and improvement is not only reserved for displaying to other people what you are capable of, it’s an internal thing. So make that promise to yourself.

Follow this four step process and I guarantee you over a period of time but do not forget the four different stages that I shared with you earlier. Even if you are following the four steps process or any other process for that matter good things take time.

You will have to go through these four different levels which are:

  • Be Unconscious and Competent.
  • You are becoming aware and conscious but you are still incompetent. You are aware there is a desire.
  • You’ve now learned a skill but by using a skill you’re conscious, you’re competent and you know it theoretically but while you are using it, your brain still involves to a very large degree.
  • The magic is going to happen you will now become competent at a conscious level or a subconscious level. It’s going to flow. You go understand and you dance; it’s going to flow. You are a stand-up comedian; it’s going to flow. You are a chef, your recipes, the sequence, amount and everything is going to flow and to get there it takes time.

No one was born perfect ladies and gentlemen. No one was born perfect! But with enough efforts, with enough persistence and with patience; remember patience is a key factor! Don’t give up and don’t let your self-limiting please come in the way. You can improve not only your communication skills but also your English speaking skills.

You should follow the above points to improve your communication skills. Clicking here to join our youtube channel.


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